Fan Q&A – Lewis Parker

Shag marry kill – Rhys Evans, Boris Bonkett or Liam Henderson?

I think I’d definitely kill Hendy, blokes an animal. Granny shagger. Definitely marry Rhys. We’ll gan to Turkey abuse the joint bank account to get his new hair and I’d shag Boris Bonkett (preferably being the receiver as he couldn’t hit a barn door)

You were once considered a hot prospect playing for Spartans Juniors. Where did it all go wrong?

Hot prospect? Unsure who told you this, think it all went wrong when I was introduced to alcohol… if not before 🤣 just easier to blame the drink.

How long have you been coming to Spartans and how did it come about?

2006ish I started to come to the games with me Dad, the tight fucker wouldn’t take me to the Toon games! Ended up doing a summer camp at Croft Park which fed me into playing for the Juniors for 11 years… aye I’m still waiting on me testimonial.

You’ve obviously been to most awaydays in the glue league and this league. What’s been the biggest shithole you’ve been to?

Far too many but the one from the top of my head has got to be Latimer Park, Kettering. Played at better grounds on a Sunday.

How the fuck do you put up with Hendy? And do you reckon you’ll be best man at his and Princess’ wedding?

Got to put with him I am his brother in law after all 🎣 so decided I’d take him under me wing. Aye I’ve surely got to be in the running for the best man position unless Princess has anything to do with it after my tweets on Saturday 😅

Favourite Spartans player of all time? Apart from Boris Bonkett of course.

Got to be Richard Offiong then. All jokes a side it’s got to be Sir Robert Dale 🐐

Give is a funny away day story?

Hard question because I usually wake up on a Sunday morning and have to google the score nevermind remember stories… there is a good one about missing Nipas only goal of the season last year but that can’t be told in public 🤣 since we’re playing Kings Lynn on Saturday I’ll mention our last visit, there was a chant being sang about the Kings Lynn family (ya sister is ya mother..) I think you know what one I’m on about and a bloke walked over to John Parker and told him he took real offence to the song and John within a second turned around pointed at a fence and said “No mate that’s a fence” brilliant.

Best Spartans related memory with your dad?

*For those who don’t know, Russell was the former chairman of Spartans Juniors, which is probs why Parker got picked every week but you didn’t hear that from me.

Would firstly like to say I didn’t get picked every week… i got dropped for the Fa Youth Cup after being the poster boy. I’ve got plenty related to my playing days and there was also plenty falling out 🤣 but my favourite ones with him have got to be him letting me skive school so we could sit in spoons all day for Hartlepool, the day out at Leyton Orient (what a day btw) all the 08 cup run (Bournemouth away especially) but the funniest, but not the funniest has got to be Kettering 4-4, Cal Roberts masterclass. He had just moved to Spain at this point and when he was home we went down to Kettering and all I can remember is Mark Foden ruining a fatha and son bonding day out. Which led to us look at eachother at full time saying “what the fuck I don’t believe what I’ve just seen”

Who’d you reckon out the current players is the best and worst drinker? And why?

Best drinker surely has to be Buds, I reckon after a few shots he’ll be as funny as his fatha. Worst drinker has definitely got to be Rhys, Dan you’ll remember them FaceTimes we got in the summer 🤦🏽‍♂️

Lastly, how would you like to see the football club change in the future?

Easy question, get Parker and Rolls on the board!